La Di Da & Fiddly Doo

Chicago, IL

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 16:23:38 -0500

Chicago, IL

Sexy pose

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 10:10:28 -0500

Sexy pose

Audio

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 17:44:09 -0500

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Sat, 01 Dec 2012 23:53:39 -0500

the-beauty-of-words-blog:

Via/Follow The Beauty of Words Blog

Can't Be Happy Without Feeling Sad

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 23:50:55 -0500

Trying to explain how my boyfriend makes me so ridiculously happy. A happiness my body isn’t used to so it’s trying to balance things out but instead it’s freaking the fuck out causing me to be emotionally all over the place. It’s hard to explain that someone makes you the happiest you’ve ever been yet you’re still depressed. He is one of the most understanding people I’ve ever met and he puts up with all my emotional ups and downs like an absolute saint. I honestly don’t know how he does it. He explains it by just being that in love with me but just because he puts up with it doesn’t mean he should have to and it doesn’t mean I should go on feeling this way so I’m taking steps to better my mental and emotional health. Getting back into therapy and probably back on medication if need be. Admitting you’re depressed is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. At least that’s what I think. Realizing you don’tneedto live your life in the dark and that being happy is healthy is the best realization you can make. I deserve happiness. We all do.

ohhmylovequotes: OhhMyLoveQuotes.com -Your daily source of...

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 14:00:02 -0500

ohhmylovequotes:

OhhMyLoveQuotes.com -Your daily source of smile, love and inspiration. Express yourself through Quotes.

Yep! & my baby does somehow!

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Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:58:06 -0500

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Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:56:52 -0500

saharacharity: Always And Forever . :))

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:56:18 -0500

saharacharity:

Always And Forever . :))

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Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:55:21 -0500

wishing4wings: I like you more than i like cake.

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:54:53 -0500

wishing4wings:

I like you more than i like cake.

beautifulquote: Beautiful Quotes

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:53:15 -0500

beautifulquote:

Beautiful Quotes

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Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:52:36 -0500

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Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:52:22 -0500

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Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:51:57 -0500

Just need to get it out...

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:50:56 -0500

so I had a perfectly wonderful weekend (besides waking up having a complete anxiety attack after having a bad dream about my boyfriend cheating on me, pushing me to the ground, then dying… it was crazy & seemed SUPER real although the 1st 2 things I know he would never do) but then it was Sunday afternoon & I realized he needed to sleep before work & I asked if he wanted me to go. He just said, “I don’t wantyou to go but you probably should before it gets too dark and I really need to get a few hours of sleep, baby.” Insert emotional breakdown. You see, I only get to see him about every 2 weeks and I KNOW it could be extremely way worse. He’s used to distance because of a previous relationship (which I hate hearing about in any capacity although this is the only time he’s ever brought it up) but I’m not. It’s not unbearable but it’s like he’s my happiness so to leave him I’m leaving that there, too. I know I shouldn’t depend solely on him to be happy but happiness doesn’t come natural to me.

Anyways, my breakdown lasted about an hour so, because I can’t let things go and I’m super harsh on myself, this morning I couldn’t stop thinking about it and replaying it all in my head. My biggest concerns are coming off as greedy and ungrateful. I am very grateful to spend any time with him but it doesn’t make it any better when we have to leave. Everyone tells me to just be thankful for the time I get and to remember it’s just like 12 days until I get to see him next but it’s like I can’t be happy without being sad… If that makes any sense. He just makes me so incredibly happy that when I have to leave or he leaves it’s painful. About 20 minutes after leaving/him leaving I’m okay but it’s just that initial system shock. After a whole weekend my body is just used to being with him so when I realize he’s not going to be there anymore I kinda just lose it. He says he just doesn’t want me to be so sad when we have to part and I tell him I try and, you know what? I really do. I try so hard to keep it together and try to focus on the positives but I just miss him so damn much it’s hard. I’m terrified my emotions are going to push him away. That he’s going to get so drained of constantly having to deal with my tears and my insecurities that he’s just going to walk away. He promises he would never do that but the fear is still there. I guess I’d probably walk away from me. Idk. He knows I’m emotional and have battled with depression in the past and he accepts it and is ridiculously understanding. I’m planning on getting back into therapy and possibly getting back on my meds. It’s been 4 years but this past year has introduced some big life altering changes and I seem to be drifting back into old ways. I just really want to be able to be happy without being sad. That’s my only goal in life: happiness.

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Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:28:21 -0500

all-i-want-is-youu: lolz omg. I would totally do this if he...

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:27:00 -0500

all-i-want-is-youu:

lolz

omg. I would totally do this if he could even fucking hear his text alerts while he was sleeping!

I have decided...

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:21:48 -0500

that when I get married I am going to have a slightly Doctor Who inspired wedding mixing all of the new series. I want tardis blue as one of my wedding colors, I want him to wear a schnazzy bow tie because bow ties are cool, I want part of my vows or possibly a speech to be Amy’s quote about Rory, “You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, when you meet them you think, “Not bad. They’re okay.” And then you get to know them and… and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality’s written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. [insert name of the lucky SOB who gets to marry me] is the most beautiful man I’ve ever met”, & I want right before our first kiss as man & wife for him to say, “I think you need a doctor” just like 9 did before he kissed Rose in The Parting of the Ways. The rest would probably be a little more traditional. I don’t want it to be too theatrical but just little Who touches here & there. <3

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Thu, 08 Nov 2012 18:52:12 -0500

did-you-kno:

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